I've frequented Taco Bell© quite a bit, and on more than one occasion, I've warily peeled back the shell on one of their Soft-Shell Taco Supremes and wondered why an entire meal costs less than a can of Alpo. Any hesitation on my part is quickly overcome by hunger, and the slaughtered animal flesh becomes bolus.
After a great deal of thought (even more thought than we put into The Barefoot Girl issue), we have come up with a concept that we thought would be worth sharing:
Many people choose to be organ donors. I'm not sure about how things are done in other states, but in Maine, all we have to do is affix a sticker on the back of our license. The problem with being an organ donor is you never know where your parts might go. Sure you're dead, and you presumably won't really care, but it's the principle of the thing.
Imagine being able to choose a plethora of options as the final resting place of your organs. Of course there would be the traditional "Scientific Research," "Organ Transplant," "Throw me in a Hole and bury my Ass," but there would be a host of others: mainly "Fast-Food."
We are, after all, at the top of the food chain and should be fairly good eating. Yes, we also have massive toxin buildup in our bodies because of our status as top predator, but just avoid eating the liver and you should be okay. Not only would you be able to choose "Fast-Food," but you would be able to specify your favorite fast-food enterprise. You'd be giving back some of what you had ingested in a beautiful example of recycling. We all have to do our part....
The plan is easy, just fill out the Taco Bell section on your organ donor card and take it to your local area branch. And while they enter your name on their database, so they can easily track down your corpse anywhere in the world, they'll treat you to a free lunch. And as an added bonus to the Taco-Donor Plan, Taco Bell will personally prepare all the food required for your wake, in honor of your responsible decision.
This may already be the case in Mexico, hence Taco Bell's cheap meat. And now with NAFTA a reality, whole boxcars of dead Mexicans will be making their way north, entering your towns (hopefully with a little more speed than those killer bees we've been waiting for) and stomachs.
Can we afford to loose the body-parts trade war? Imagine all of the traditional food corporations relocating to Mexico in search of cheap (like they pay a lot now) labor and plentiful resources. Help keep our country's economy strong: donate today.
I hope to enjoy you soon.
Disclaimer: This may be one of the few times that we feel compelled to have a disclaimer, but this issue deserves one. We, the staff of GDT are not attempting to imply that any fast-food establishment uses meat other than that which is approved by the FDA (ever read The Jungle ?). We would also like to apologize to anyone of Mexican descent. We are not implying that Mexicans, as a rule, are anthrophogous (although the Aztecs were and they were technically Mexican, but that's beside the point).
|
|
