Columbus-page3

After Dinner Mints

Couches should be equipped with metal detectors. On a particularly successful social evening after your guests have all gone home, you can just flip a switch and know whether or not you've made a profit. The control panel could be like one on a luxury car which will pinpoint exactly which door is open, it will pinpoint exactly where all metal objects are. And for those of you who live in or near Canada you could also have the built in magnet feature which is guaranteed to suck out all magnetic coinage at hand, and thus doubling the night's bounty.

by Kelly Gunter

SUPPORT NUCLEAR TESTING...

...AND MAKE THE WORLD SAFE FOR BLIND, SCREWING COCKROACKES.

GDT needs you

to contribute for a special Halloween edition. Send your stories, ideas or pictures. Send anything you think applies.

Remember, if you don't send us material, we won't feed your junk food cravings.

*Deadline: 24 October, 1995

In Brazil it is against the law to name your children anything that might embarrass them when they get older

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