Grow Where You're Planted Damn It!
The Papal Decree of the Week

Today on the Sally Carny Bey Show:
More compacted human-trash from the "Bible Belt" complaining about spouses who had sex with their best friend's roommate's transexual cross-dressed statue of the Virgin Mary on hot dog day at work under the water cooler without a condom.

Talk show addiction will kill.

There are no if's and or butts. This psuedo-politically correct garbage that daytime television feeds its audience is atrocious, and what worries an average thinking american like myself is that some people cut school and call out sick from work to watch these vile displays of the modern day freak show. How responsible is it to america to portray a woman with two heads? What kind of statement is that to the audience?

Perhaps the argument can be made, that these shows open the public mind to all the possibilities this world has to offer. I ask: is it proper etiquette to gawk at lesbians professing their love to their roommates in front of a television audience, to embarrass them and deface their better name when the lovees have to admit they are attracted to the neighbor's mother? Isn't this a sexual deviation called "voyeurism?" I argue that these shows actually encroach on liberalism by showing radicalism. It would seem, to an average viewer, that all people with a southern accent are incestuous cross-breeding closed-minded fundamentalist deviants with a fetish for cheating on their S.O.'s with the most bizarre sexual partners this world has ever seen.

Can you say: Let's narrow the scope of experience by keeping the viewers glued to the screen? Kids are being baby-sat by their television sets, and now we have a generation of children thinking that gray-haired skinheads that have married twelve women are an average, and people who actually earn their money by working at more than just bad acting and screaming at a camera are a minority. Talk about developing a false sense of reality. The frightening thing is that there is a propensity to actually believe that these people and these lives exist. Some people grow teary-eyed when an unrevealed love reciprocates the affection and empathize with non-existent stories of unrequited love... The truth of the matter is that people have so little imagination of their own,that they believe their life to be boring and trite. Since television offers a more interesting lifestyle than one's own, one can begin living life through the camera eye. People, get a life! It can't be all that bad to study at a University where your degree will mean something (although you won't have learned much). No one's life can be THAT boring that talk shows are a realistic alternative. There are some really neat, and interesting people you can meet in person, and not get into a yelling match. And here's an idea, rehearse your own lines for the musical of Life. Make your own sully lives extraordinary. Have you forgotten the cliche "Carpe Diem?"

Grow Where You're Planted Damn It!

What if someone came and
up rooted
all your words to a great poem,
placing new ones
where he found it

aesthetically pleasing to put them?

I call this my lawn, my property, my own little acreage, and i am watching it be redefined by landscapers. I am so proud of the trees that rebel and wither to the dismay of the high class buy anything i want owners who plotted a specific piece of the lawn just for that particular tree, just as i revere the branches and flowers that shoot out of the bloody stumps of aged wonder.

And yet, they persist. If at first they don't succeed they try try again. So another tree is planted, and another, and yet another. And still, they die and wither, and fade. Ha! Stupid silly humans didn't notice there was a powerline underneath the ground electrocuting the roots. Then we curse the trees for letting its roots damage our water mains, and encroaching on the space we deemed for flowers only. And then those nasty roots that stick out of the ground--be gone nasty roots, we shall have none of you. And we cut off arms and legs at our convenience, we prune and shape, and keep water from them so they do not grow. Quick, better let nature know that we are controlling her, she's got no sway over us! It looks more like we are trying to convince ourselves in the midst of a Hurricane as we plant the tree where we want it, and tell the grass where it is allowed to grow that we are in control. It wouldn't be so bad is the landscapers didn't make things so damned ugly.

The Papal Decree of the week
Thou shalt not watch television until the x-files season premiere begins. Then, Thou shalt only watch the following television programming: The x-files, millennium, sesame street, max headroom, muppets tonight and star trek voyager. For the cable impaired (who are of course not incapable, but special), they are permitted to watch the new Outer limits in place of Max Headroom due to its cable link necessity. ----pope john jacob

Issue III: "Boys Will Be Boys, Girls Will Be Gods"
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