OK, in all honest truth, I don't know what is going on in the world. I'm just a college boy who doesn't really leave his dormroom for anything other than class and meals. I can, however, tell you what should be going on. Our country should be changing their national anthem. I mean, everybody hates the damn thing - you never hear people singing it at home while they do their laundry, and there are only so many things great musicians can do with it at sporting events. I suggest we get a useful song that everybody loves and leaves pleanty of room for musical interpretation, yet always invokes a sort of patriotic love for one's fellow man. My suggestion is "Yes, We Have No Banannas." It is a fun, yet touching song of love, mystery, and sadness, and I think that with a song like that representing our country, more people would vote, moral would be boosted overall, suicide rates would go down, and fewer people would feel the need to get drunk at sporting events in order to enjoy themselves. I mean, who doesn't love that song? Respected bands would start playing at baseball games, and people would come to see the bananna song as well as the game. Ticket sales for events like this would skyrocket, and our economy would boom like never before.

I think that with everything the "Yes, We Have No Banannas" song can do for our country, it would be a horrible mistake not to adopt it as our anthem right away. If we don't act soon, some other country's going to lay claim to it, and we'll be stuck with some crappy anthem like "Disco Inferno." - And if countries like Canada start making fun of us for our anthem, I'm going to quit and join whatever country got the bananna song, cause boy, do I love that song. -It really brings out a sort of catharsis in me, and honestly, yesterday, when I heard it on the radio, I cried. Really. How could a song like that not be the anthem of our country?

"Yes, We have no banannas!
We have no banannas today!"