The Rantings of E-Boy
Written By E-Boy (Obviously)
I suppose you should know a LITTLE about me, which is most likely more than you will ever need. But hey- I feel the need to begin with a beginning. Iím in college. Southern Methodist University to be exact. School colors are kakhi and FILTHY beat up white(Iím assuming, here) with baseball caps from various other colleges. The girls frighten me. And who knows what the heck they look like beneath all that makeup. I used to hear all these stories about how gorgeous college girls are because they wear less makeup and these private college girls are even worse than at my high school. I think there must be something in the water that makes everyone who is capable of giving birth secretly dread the possibility of the CEO of some international organization jumping out of nowhere- while theyíre on their way to breakfast at 7:30- and interviewing them for a job as the most highly paid secretary of all time or something. Maybe theyíre just too hung over from the night before and donít want to show it. Parties are scheduled every single night, which I suppose is not uncommon for most colleges. Guys and girls are constantly bragging about how awesome it was getting trashed the night before. I think they all are trying to prove that they are THAT MUCH cooler for consuming more alcohol than the next person. Obviously it is very hard to get alcohol when youíre under 21 so these people are quite proud of themselves for getting their hands on some and drinking it in excess. I really do not know how some of these people got into what I thought was a somewhat prestigious school. Hereís one person of particular genius: I think her name's Christina or Fatbitch or something close to that. She was able to unite quite a few kids in the back row of my religion class against the teacher because they all got Cís on their essay test. "Well Iím a Junior and have never had problems on papers before in any of my classes. I read all the assignments, therefore, since I wrote a pathetic essay I deserve an A." Today she griped about Confucius (Whoís name is NOT Confucius, itís Kíung Fu Tzu, The Master Kíung, as he was known. Obviously people can not be influential to world history unless their name has been Westernized.) because he taught men but not women. This particular form of sexism occurred around 495 BC. Clearly my religion professor is part of a plot to suppress this countryís females and needs to be verbally abused for it. She also protested against the examples the professor gave us of Chinese religion that were present around 1750 BC because they seemed to rely an awful lot on blind faith. What this world needs is more great thinkers like her.