As you have probably noticed, there has been a lot of bad weather lately, and it's got me thinking. Parts of California have been receiving more rain than they have in over a hundred years, and tornadoes are devastating Florida. The people turn to the meteorologists and say, "Hey! What's with with all this weather?" The weatherman answers with a smug look on his face, "Why, it's 'El Nino!'" Like idiots we say to ourselves, "Of course! Why didn't I think of that before!" But frankly, I'm not buying it anymore. About a year ago, when I was skiing in Canada, they were in the middle of an unusually warm winter. When I looked in the newspaper, they were ready to offer an explanation. "It's El Nino!" They then went on to explain what this buzz word meant, which was very interesting. I mean, I was fascinated how a patch of water in the Pacific Ocean could effect the weather in Canada. But as time grew on, and as bad weather struck across America, El Nino seemed to be there to take responsibility for it all. I became suspicious.

First of all, look at the name: El Nino. They gave it a spanish name, hoping that us ignorant Americans wouldn't realize that they named this weather phenomenon "The Boy." Come on, they use real names for hurricanes, and those things come and go in a matter of days. They could of at least had the decency to name this thing Roberto. Who's heard of Hurricane Kid? Secondly, don't you find it just a little too convenient that we can't see El Nino for ourselves? We have to look at the weatherman's equipment to see some satellite enhanced thermal imaging photographs to see what we presume is the El Nino they're always talking about. I know what you're thinking: "What are they going to do with El Nino?" Wipe out the entire continent and create of nation of meteorologists, that's what they're going to do. It's fairly simple how, too. Let's take the tornadoes in Florida. I mean, I've seen the videos of miniature tornadoes that people have created in science classes, but those videos are always outdated. So, who's to say that they can't make the real thing by now? On the other coast, there's excessive rain and mudslides. Come on, they're just over using drought-ending techniques. And we don't suspect this weather as foul play, just an act of God. But they're actually the acts of weathermen. Evil weathermen. And let me tell you, when that first earthquake strikes, I'm kicking some meteorologist ass.