I mean, come on, think about it!! Heís invincible except for ONE certain type of rock that canít even be found on this planet. Heís strong as hell. He can FLY, for chrissake. He can blow hard enough to knock down walls. Hell, he can see though walls! And he can shoot laser-beams or heat rays or whatever the hell those things are out of his eyes.

And yet, in every single episode, he is almost defeated! How could the bad guys manage that unless Superman was a mongoloid and a wimp?! And he did some stupid shit if you watch the old TV show. Some guy could point a gun at Supermanís chest and fire all six rounds straight at him, and the bullets would bounce off. But when the gun was out of bullets, if the guy threw it at Superman, heíd duck! "Oh, I can take something pointy traveling at over the speed of sound knocking into my chest. But that blunt thing was going 60, maybe 70 miles per hour! That could leave a really nasty bruise!" Or maybe Superman was very emotional. "Hell, that bad guy could have accidentally pulled the trigger six times in a row. But when he leaned back and threw that gun, there was NO mistake that he was trying to hurt me! Thatís just not nice!"

And another thing: why the hell did he pretend to be that little weakling nerd Clark Kent? I mean, for one thing, wouldnít having incredible strength make everyday life a hassle? Wouldnít he be ripping doors off hinges and stuff? And Lois Lane wanted to screw Superman, but she didnít give a shit about Clark at all! She thought he was a wuss, because at the first sign of danger he ran away (to change into Superman, but she didnít know that!). So why didnít he drop the "secret identity" bullshit and grab the chick?

If I were Superman, Iíd say screw the whole superhero bit! I mean, what good is helping others? Look at Mother Theresa! After years of public servitude and selfless living, she died penniless and alone! Screw that! If I had all those powers, things would be a LOT different. First thing Iíd do would be to go around and collect all the kryptonite I could find, then Iíd put it in a big space pod and Iíd fly off and throw that shit in the sun. Then, Iíd tell all of the worldís political leaders that they would either hand over their nation peacefully, or Iíd melt their balls with my heat vision. So then I would have control of all of the worldís weaponry and resources. One of the first things I would do would be to disband all of the worldís armies. Not because I want world peace, mind you. Next thing Iíd do would be start a worldwide draft. Each continent would have its own army (except Antarctica, because itís freakiní cold there and nobody wants to live there). But the qualifications for the draft would be a little different. Every single person in the entire world would have to take a series of tests. Iíd have to hire a good testing service, because I donít want the test to be based on knowledge; just raw intelligence. After the testing procedure, the people who scored in the lowest 35% in each country will be drafted into the army. The lowest 3% will be made officers. I will give these imbeciles AK-47 assault rifles and shitloads of ammo and tell them to go to war or Iíll kill their family. Then, not only would I have the enjoyment of planning a large-scale war (and if itís anything like simulators on computers, that will be a hell of a lot of fun!), but at the same time I will further mankind by killing off stupid people!

While all the mongoloids killed each other, Iíd plan my house. It would be big, but not huge. Every room would consist of nothing but big fatass pillows, tables, and maybe TVs and stuff. After my house was built, I would have every supermodel in the world shipped in to be in my harem. Except Kate Moss; sheís scrawny and sheís funny-looking. I would lie on my back surrounded by my harem with them feeding me beer and grapes. Hell, I donít even like grapes, but I would feel as if I was doing Hollywood an injustice if I didnít fill that clichÈ. I would just lie on my back all day long, surrounded by beautiful women who must comply to my every desire or be brutally torn limb from limb by my inhuman strength. Ya, things would be different if I were Superman.

As I completed this fantasy in my head, it was once again my turn to talk in my therapy group. I told the group about my ideas for the future and what things would be like if I had superpowers. I think that I might have been referred to the wrong support group, because mine is full of wimps and losers, not other people trying to control violent thoughts. One woman cried; Phil, the dumpy guy next to me, told me that I was sick, and the leader of the group said that although he wasnít going to judge me, he thought I should seek more constructive ways to vent my rage than coming up with these "outlandish fantasies". So, after the session, I met him in the parking lot and beat the shit out him. -And boy, did I feel better!