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Dr. Cy Kosis "Insightful answers to life's petty problems." Dear Cy Recently, I caught my dad dressing up in womans clothing. I'm sure my mom doesn't know anything about this. I'm very confused. My dad and I have never been emotionally close so I don't feel I can talk to him about it and, I don't know how to tell my mom. Why does he do this and what should I do?
Signed, Dear Daughter, Men who enjoy dressing in woman's clothing may act out for any number of different reasons. My counseling experience leads me to believe they may have a subconscious need to identify with the sexual role of the woman; specifically, someone who is pursued or sought after. To overcome this tendency your dad may need years of psychoanalytic counseling.
More than likely, your dad is confused about many different important issues. Over the years, i have counseled a number of crossdressers, and from my observation of them, I think what your dad probably needs more than anything else right now is some good sound fashion advice. Before I can advise you further I would need to know a little more about your father, or more specifically, is he an autumn, winter, spring, or summer? I suggest that you get him to a fashion consultant immediately, then help him choose a new wardrobe. It's important for you to understand that you can play a crucial role in building his self-esteem. Consequently, it's very important that you don't compound the problem by choosing clothes that make him feel fat, and unattractive. You might also look into removal of his unsightly leg and facial hair. By sharing his little secret, it could truly bring you and your father closer together. And finally, in dealing with this most delicate and sensitive issue, just remember one thing: the key to any successful crossdresser's wardrobe is, accessorize, accessorize, accessorize. |
Dear Dr. Cy Kosis,
I'm a 37 year old mother of six, happily married, but in a state of depression. I looked in the mirror the other day, and I noticed wrinkles forming around my eyes. I know it's vain, but I like to look nice and I can't bear the thought of looking older. I used to love having everyone tell me how pretty I was. I really have felt quite depressed over this. I need help.
Signed, Dear Wrinkles, It's interesting to me that every sentence in your letter starts with "I." Subsequently, it's no coincidence that your issue is one of vanity. You can hire a plastic surgeon to try and keep the wrinkles away, or you can address the real problem; the fact that your sense of self identity is far too attached to your physical appearance. A strategy which would solve both problems simultaneously would be to get fat. Fat people don't have wrinkles. If you get fat and you still have wrinkles then you need to get fatter, but not so fat that your wrinkles turn into folds. Stretch that epidermis out tight enough and your wrinkles will simply disappear- this concept has done wonders for Elizabeth Taylor- and, at the same time, you loose your emotional crutch of always relying on your good looks to pull you through. In essence, you'll have to get what most of us who are appearance challenged already have, a personality!
©Copyright 1995 by Dr. Cy Kosis |