SubMission
Tear away your plastic skin,
let me feel you for you.
I am sick of all your sins,
I want us to be true.
Just the other day a bomb blew
me up?
I didn't die, I filled myself
with all the H2O from those dams,
destroyed w/ that blast.
Now I know where I've been hiding
I know what I've been feeling.
Inhibition shooting me.
Where do I go from here?
All my walls are
d
o
w
n
The w i n d blows through me
I move free today.
nothing
exists but
undiscovered lands, planets, all
blocked
once
by those dams.
Blown a w a y
by one futile BLAST.
- Howie
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People in all parts of the country tell stories of people they've heard about from a friend (my cousin's neighbor was out walking one night…) that turn out to be outrageous tales of humor or horror? Have you ever wondered why it's the same stories
in remote places, but told with different characters? And it always seems as though the person telling the story really believes it. In order to celebrate the ubiquitous art of deliberate misconception, we bring you...
 This variant comes from the midwest, but localized versions of the story have been told in Maryland, Maine, and even printed in a newspaper in Canada. All variants include the same basic plot with differen
t details...
A couple of years ago, this dentist in Brazil, Indiana thought it was about time he and his wife took a vacation since they had both worked pretty hard, and he decided they'd take a trip out west. He thought they might as well do it right, so he went
out and bought a brand new camping tralier and a new car to pull it. The trailer wasn't just one of those fold-out deals. It was a big furnished trailer.
Well, they got all the way to Marshall, Illinois, when they stopped to get something to eat. The man was just exhausted from doing all the driving, as they were trying to drive stright through the night without stopping. They spent so much time on t
he way out there that they wanted to make up for it coming back. As I said before though, the man was very cautious not to get a speeding ticket. Anyway, after they stopped in Marshall to get something to eat, the man was so exhausted he could hardly ke
ep his eyes open. It was only about thrity-file miles to their house, so he felt pretty confident about letting his wife drive the rest of the way home. He even decided to crawl back in the trailer and lay down. So he undressed down to his boxer shorts
, and must have just fallen asleep.
When the woman had driven all the way to the center of their town, she came to a stop for the red light. Well, her husband felt the car stop, and opened the door of the trailer to see where they were. Just as he opened the door, the light changed a
nd the woman pulled off. The trailer gave a little jerk and the man fell out. There he was in the intersection with just his boxer shorts on. Well, he ran into the Sunoco station on the corner. Incidentally, his wife didn’t know he had fallen out, and
kept driving. Meantime, the man gets this gas station attendant to drive him home in a truck. They passed his wife on the highway but she didn't even see them. Thanks to some tricky driving and marginally safe speeding, they beat the woman home.
Continued on p.4
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