God's 2nd Job-page 3

Gracies Dinnertime Theatre Page 3

-by Troy Liston

Greetings once again from he who sits at the right hand of God( well, maybe a little lower- and to the left). This weeks column is brought to you by blind people (hence the lack of illustrations) and the letter B (beatings, burnings and burials). Our martyr of the week for November 6-12 is the venerable St. Menas (Nov.11). This patron of merchants and caravans was an Egyptian soldier in the Roman army in the third century when he went public with his christianity. Needless to say this didn't go over well with his contemporaries and they tortured him, then burned him alive. An interesting fact in this martyrdom is that his followers believe Menas does not reside in heaven, but rather in the monastery/ baths/church that was built for him near Alexandria. This shrine was destroyed by Arabs in the seventh century and wasn't rediscovered, excavated and restored until earlier this century. Menas is credited with Allied victory over the Nazis at the battle of El Alamein in WWII.
Another feast day this week is Wednesday, for the four crowned martyrs. These four martyrs were a team of stonemasons in Yugoslavia during the reign of the Roman emperor Diocletion. They refused to make a statue of the pagan god of healing and were arrested. The judge at their trial died suddenly and this was subsequently blamed on our saints. They were sentenced to death, which was accomplished by placing them into lead boxes and drowning them. There actually were five men tried and killed, but one of them was only pretending to be Christian in order to improve his mason skills( Sorry, but impersonating a martyr only gets you one thing, dead!).
Other notable saints ( but not martyrs) honored this week include St. Benen ( disciple of St. Patrick, at whose tomb people miraculously vomit the intestinal worms that plague them; Nov.9) and St. Andrew Avellino ( struck down by apoplexy in the midst of giving mass, his body remained uncorrupt whilst lying in state. Locks of his hair were taken as relics, but when his corpse bled when a careless devotee snipped a little too close, it was deemed a miracle. Historians now believe that Andrew may merely have been catatonic at this point and was in fact buried alive; Nov. 10).
Until next week remember a hairshirt may feel like hell, but it'll help you get to heaven.

Random Acts of E-mail
-from Mark Nowak

This is only a test...
...of the emergency vax system.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Just showing my parents the wonder of e-mail. They're still living in the Dark Ages, squatting in caves and fighting over animal bones. See ya soon!
--me

-Brian Revoir


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