Dr. Cy Kosis
"Insightful answers to life's petty problems."
Dear Cy,
My husband and I have been married for six years. This is my first marriage, and his third. We have two children ages 1 and 4. In a nut shell, he's been treating me very poorly. He yells at me and the kids for not doing our part around the house to keep things orderly. He's upset that I've gained 20 lbs since our marriage. He complains that I'm immature (I am 15 years younger than him) and, that he wishes he'd never left his first wife (we met while he was still married to his second). I am continually irritated that he won't take responsibility for the things he does, and that he always does things to make life uncomfortable for the family. I've asked him to go to counseling with me, but he refuses. What should I do?
Signed,
Confused
Dear Confused,
There is the slight possibility that your husband is suffering from intense feelings of insecurity. Often spouses who focus on the shortcoming of their partner do so to hide their own sense of inadequacy. If this is the case, have a trusted friend or family member sensitively confront him about the inappropriateness of his behavior. Also, volunteer to go with him to the first counseling session.
A more probable explanation for your husbands behavior, is that he's a direct descendant of the posterior end of a horse. Of course it doesn't sound like you're much of a prize yourself, whoring him away from his second wife and all. How could you even entertain the idea that a man who would so readily abandon two other wives, would suddenly long for a lifetime of marital bliss with you. Tell me, what color is the sky in your world? My advice would be to dump this loser, stop bleaching your hair, and beg your kids to forgive you for screwing up the already slim chance they had for a happy childhood!
Copyright 1995 by Dr. Cy Kosis
Need advice? Ask Dr. Cy Kosis.
E-mail: drcy@netzone.com
Written address:
Dr. Cy Kosis
632 N. Redrock
Gilbert, Az 85234
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Piss On It
Live and Learn and Pass It On
Theirs:
I've learned that listening to sad country songs is the last thing you should do after a breakup.
Ours:
I've learned that listening to whimsical country songs is the best thing you should do before a relationship with a priest.
-Age 30
Theirs:
I've learned that you can never go back and give your children that extra hug, word of praise, or bedtime story-so do it now.
Ours:
I've learned that you can never go back and give your children that extra rim, word of hate, or bedtime loofa bath-so do them now while they're still in the crib.
-Age 43
Theirs:
I've learned that a kiss isn't a kiss without a smack.
-Age 64
Ours:
I've learned that a kiss isn't a kiss without a lot of tongue.
-Age 7
Reconstruction by: Troy L. and the gang.
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