Sunday January 21st, 1996 Vol. 3, issue 5 "Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, then for a few friends, and finally for money." Do you ever realize when you're talking to another person that you get flustered and can't really find anything to say. Well, if you have here is a short list of words that you can test out while trying to regain your verbal footing. And if you, like the cartoon character who has just stepped on the proverbial banana peel, can not seem to regain your usual balance and poise in the conversation, at least your companion will probably by that time have an even feebler grasp on reality, and thus you will find your salvation. Anal Explosive- opposite of anal retentive (Look Out!) Argocious- 1) Being overly abundant in praise of one's self and having no justification to do so. 2.) Being a common idiot and professing to know the nature of the world. Bombastic- Using words larger than necessary to describe things that are smaller than you think they are. Defenestrate- To throw an object, or person, living or non-living, out of a window. Dullard- Someone who can open an encyclopedia or dictionary and only read what they'd planned to. Godphiles - Kind of like pediphiles, but more like priests. Groin- A massive wooden framework or low broad wall of concrete or masonry run out from a shore especially to combat erosion. Example: "Mom, I'm going swimming near the groin." Kludge- A ridiculous assortment of unmatched and unworkable parts. Misanthropology- The study of why people are so stupid and why most of them should die...soon. Non-Committal Epileptic- Those people who, when in the presence of music, aren't quite comfortable enough to dance, so in its stead they twitch a portion of their anatomy, not necessarily to any human concept of beat. Pasgang- Striding with a forward kick and a pole push on the same side. Relaxed Bisexual Agnostic- I don't know, I don't care, and maybe I'll sleep with it. Snake- Not so much a pet as an ambitious plant. What's the difference, really? You just feed them, but the snake ends up behind the fridge while the plant tends to stay where you put it. Stultify- To cause to be ridiculous. Xerophthalmia- Abnormal dryness of the eyeball.