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"If any man or any nation outside the Five Nations shall obey the laws of the Great Peace and make known their disposition to the Lords of the Confederacy, they may trace the Roots to the Tree and if their minds are clean and they are obedient and promise to obey the wishes of the Confederate Council, they shall be welcomed to take shelter beneath the Tree of the Long Leaves. "

-Gayanashagowa (the constitution of the Iroquois Nations)

Hell's Kitchen is waking up after a long nap. In place of a streamlined method, please feel free to read the most recently updated organizing document)

The Far From Frivolous Organizing Document for Hell's Kitchen, updated 26 May 2026

Declaration of Purpose:
Though content sharing services exist for professional and college newspapers, there is a conspicuous lack of such a service for small, less conventional, or underappreciated outlets for creative expression, particularly independent and unrecognized student organizations lacking access to institutional resources. Hell's Kitchen aims to fill this lack of support.

Hell's Kitchen serves its member organizations in two core ways. First, it operates a content sharing network through which member organizations exchange and co-distribute creative content, expanding the reach of independent voices beyond their immediate geographic area. Second, it provides educational support including non-legal guidance related to First Amendment rights, production techniques, organizational management, and distribution methods-- addressing a documented gap in resources available to small and non-traditional media producers.
	
Organization of Hell's Kitchen
  Article 1. Organs
    A. The principal organs of Hell's Kitchen are: Carissimus Diablo(2), and the Susan(3). 
    B. Subsidiary organs and positions may be later established as needed.
    C. The bones of Hell's Kitchen are the Member Organizations(6), and the voting Member Organizations (VMOs)(10).

Article 2. Carissimus Diablo
  A. The executive power of Hell's Kitchen is vested in a single entity known as Carissimus Diablo, henceforth referred to in this document as "the Carissimus".
  B. The Carissimus is an ephemeral entity composed of three [3] individuals appointed by the Susan(3).
    1.) The pool of individuals that the Susan(3) can select from includes: current members of VMOs(10), individuals who were previously in positions of authority in VMOs(10), and individuals from non-Member Organizations that hold appropriate roles within their organization or have appropriate experience.
    2.) When possible, the Carissimus should be constituted of individuals from multiple organizations so that no single organization can monopolize power.
  C. Any member of the Carissimus can abdicate their position if they feel there is a conflict of interest. 
    1.) When a member of the Carissimus abdicates their position, the Susan will appoint a new member to fill the vacated position.
  D. The decision of the Carissimus is based on a majority vote. 
  E. In the event that the Carissimus is not in session, in the course of day-to-day operations, or there is no desire to take part in governing Hell's Kitchen, the Susan(3) is authorized to act in the Carissimus's place.
    1.) The Susan(3) is not authorized to make binding changes to this document. Only the Carissimus can sign for changes to this document.
  F. The purpose of the Carissimus is to interpret this organizing document and expedite policy decisions based on its content. 
    1.) As necessary, the Carissimus may be convened to review and update this document as needed.
    2.) After changes are approved, the following will happen:
      a.) The members of the Carissimus ratify the Organizing Document by signing and dating an official copy of the new Organizing Document.
      b.) The Susan(3) signs and dates the official copy.
      c.) The ratified Organizing Document is sent to the Hell's Kitchen Archives.
      d.) The Susan(3) will ensure all Member Organizations and applicable local, state, and federal organizations receive an official copy of the revised Organizing Document.
      e.) Any Member Organization(6) finding themselves in contradiction to the new Organizing Document will have 90 days to affect the necessary changes or determine that they will withdraw from Hell's Kitchen. If compliance has not been achieved within those 90 days and written intent to withdrawal has not been submitted to the Susan(3), the Susan(3) shall start proceedings to remove the Member Organization(6) from Hell's Kitchen.

Article 3. Susan
  A. The primary purpose of the Susan is to act as a Chief Operating Officer for Hell's Kitchen. 
  B. The individual holding the role of the Susan is nominated by the Carissimus.
  C. In order to ensure prompt and effective action by Hell's Kitchen, the Member Organizations(6) give Susan the responsibility for making sure the Carissimus(2) is chosen as needed, forwarding messages and creative content(6C) to their destinations, facilitating coordination between Member Organizations(6), promoting Hell's Kitchen, making policy recommendations to the Carissimus(2), and any other activities arising which would require immediate response.
  D. The term of the position of the Susan is indefinite.

Convention
Article 4. Failure of the Susan to act
  A. In the event the Susan(3) fails to perform their duties, any VMO(10) may request an investigation that may end in a vote to impeach. This will begin a convention. During this process, the Carissimus(2) will be summoned and all communications should go through it instead of the Susan(3).
    1.) The Carissimus(2) shall not be appointed by the Susan(3) at the time of an impeachment vote, but shall instead be composed of the individuals that most recently served as the Carissimus(2).
    2.) In the event individuals of the previous Carissimus(2) are unable or unwilling to serve, an individual from the initiating VMO(10) will act as a temporary Susan whose only task is to follow 2B1 and 2B2.
  B. The Carissimus(2) will lead the proceedings of the impeachment vote VMOs(10).
    1.) Impeachment of the Susan(3) is decided by majority vote of VMOs(10). 
      a.) Each VMO(10) has one vote, and may vote 'yay', 'nay', or 'present'. Failure to vote will count as abstinet.The logistics of how each VMO(10) decides upon their vote is left to the discretion of each VMO(10). 
      b.) Once decided, the vote of the VMO(10) must be communicated in writing to all members of the Carissimus(2).
    2.) In case of a tie, the Carissimus(2) shall provide the final tie-breaking vote.
    3.) Once a Susan has been Impeached, they are ineligible to become the Susan(3) for a period of 180 days from the date of the vote of their Impeachment. 
  C. The selection of a new Susan(3), after successful Impeachment of the previous Susan, shall be decided by a process known as "benevolent dictatorship," A.K.A. "dibs,"A.K.A. "first-come-first-serve," A.K.A., the first individual to declare self-appointment in writing to all members of the Carissimus(2).

Members and mutual commitments
Article 5. Membership
  A. Membership in Hell's Kitchen is open to all organizations which accept the obligations(7) contained in this document, and are interested in adopting a policy of sharing and cooperation.
  B. Hell's Kitchen will never charge organizations a fee to join.
  C. New members are encouraged, though not required, to form close relationships with an existing VMO(10) to facilitate integration with Hell's Kitchen.
  D. Prospective organizations that wish to have a relationship with Hell's Kitchen and become a Member Organization(6) can do so by doing the following:
    1.) Submit a formal request in writing to be a Member Organization(6) through the Susan(3) and sign an agreement to join Hell's Kitchen.
  E. When an organization requests to become a Member Organization(6), the Susan(3) shall convene the Carissimus(2), and Member Organization status shall be determined by majority vote of the Carissimus(2).
    1.) If Carissimus approves, the Susan(3) will communicate with the prospective organization and it will become a Member Organization(6) of Hell's Kitchen effective immediately.
    2.) If Carissimus disapproves, Carissimus(2) will provide their reasons and any actionables, which the Susan(3) will communicate with the prospective organization. The Member Organization(6) may reapply as soon as those reasons are addressed or a strong defense is made against those reasons.

Article 6. Member Organizations
  A. Each Member Organization of Hell's Kitchen retains sovereignty, freedom, independence, and every power, jurisdiction, and right which is not expressly delegated to Hell's Kitchen in this document.
  B. Each Member Organization must be composed of at least 2 persons.
  C. Each Member Organization shall produce some form of original creative content. 
    1.) Creative content is defined as any form of media, digital or physical, that involves creation and origination, such as editorials, columns, photography, poetry, factual news, opinion pieces, guest essays, works of fiction, cartoons, illustration, music, spoken word, video, theatre, sculpture, or any other medium and media of artistic expression. Creative content does not include artificially generated content.

Article 7. Obligations of Membership. 
  A. Member Organizations(6) will ensure the wellbeing of Hell's Kitchen by submitting creative content in an appropriate and timely manner.  
    1.) The preferred method to submit creative content(6C) will change as technology changes, and Hell's Kitchen will provide guidance to Member Organizations(6) as to suggested best-practices.
  B. Member Organizations(6) submit creative content(6C) with the understanding and consent that the content may be shared with other members of Hell's Kitchen for reprinting. 
    1.) Facilitation of the sharing of creative content shall involve the Member Organization(6) promptly informing the individual rights-holder of the creative work of the intent to share their work, and the subsequent express individual consent of the rights-holder for the creative work.
  C. Material submitted to Hell's Kitchen remains the property of the original artists, authors, and creators. Content submitted to Hell's Kitchen will by default be protected by the Creative Commons BY-ND 4.0 License.
  D. While not always an option, Member Organizations(6) should seek to provide a complimentary archival copy of all creative works published during its membership with Hell's Kitchen, so that Hell's Kitchen can maintain long-term archives.  This includes a physical copy, should it exist, or a digital copy, if that is its only format, of a Member Organization's(6) content. 
  E. Member Organizations(6) can choose to state their affiliation with Hell's Kitchen in any reasonable fashion.

Article 8: Rights of Member Organizations
  A. Member Organizations(6) are under no obligation to reproduce any material provided by Hell's Kitchen.
  B. Member Organizations(6) have the right to ask Hell's Kitchen for help and advice.
  C. Member Organizations(6) have the right to request assistance from Hell's Kitchen for particular services. 
    1.) Examples include, though are not limited to: space on the Hell's Kitchen web server, an email address, cooperating with other organizations, advice on production techniques, etc.
  D. When an organization chooses to withdraw from Hell's Kitchen, or the Carissimus(2) chooses to terminate an organization's association with Hell's Kitchen, Hell's Kitchen and organizations remaining in Hell's Kitchen retain the ability to share content that had been contributed prior to withdrawal(17).

Article 9. Roles of Hell's Kitchen toward Member Organizations 	
  A. Hell's Kitchen has no authority to interfere in a Member Organization(6)'s internal structure and function, unless requested. Member Organizations(6) are not required to submit internal matters to Hell's Kitchen.
  B. Hell's Kitchen is obligated to deliver creative content(7C) sent to it, or to facilitate direct content sharing between Member Organizations(6).
  C. Hell's Kitchen shall attribute original authorship/creator credit to originating Member Organizations(6) and individuals.
  D. Hell's Kitchen will maintain a direct link from its website to the Member Organization's(6) website, when applicable.
  E. Hell's Kitchen is obligated to answer questions and offer advice to its Member Organizations(6).

Article 10. Voting Member Organizations (VMOs)
  A. Member Organizations(6) that wish to help decide Hell's Kitchen policy can become a VMO by fulfilling the obligations(7) of Member Organizations(6) and by doing the following:
    1.) Be a Member Organization of Hell's Kitchen for a period of no less than 6 months (180 days).
    2.) Publish content on a regular schedule of a frequency no less than once annually. 
    3.) Submitting a formal request in writing to be a VMO through the Susan(3). 
  B. When a Member Organization requests to become a VMO, the Susan(3) shall convene the Carissimus(2), and VMO status shall be determined by majority vote of the Carissimus(2).
  C. VMOs must state that they are a member of Hell's Kitchen in any reasonable fashion.

Article 11. Roles of Hell's Kitchen toward VMOs 
  A. Hell's Kitchen may, at its discretion and resource willing, provide financial and material assistance to VMOs(10).
    1.) Such assistance shall be administered through a formal request process managed by the Susan(3), and approval will be in line with the goals articulated in the Declaration of Purpose and the articulated relationships between Member Organizations(6) and Hell's Kitchen.
    2.) Examples of assistance can include: expenses related to the production or distribution of creative content, including but not limited to printing, hosting, software, equipment, and distribution costs, subject to the availability of funds. 
    3.) Assistance available through Hell's Kitchen does not need to be utilized by VMOs(10).
    4.) The Susan(3) will maintain records of all requests and disbursements for purposes of organizational accountability and IRS compliance.

Courtesy and Cooperation
Article 12. [REDACTED]
  A. The curse on Article 13, as is typically seen in construction of omitting a 13th floor in skyscrapers, has migrated to Article 12 in this document. Therefore, Article 12 has been omitted for reasons of occult and spiritual safety.

Article 13. Civil Clauses
  A. Hell's Kitchen has no right to censor or edit material from its Member Organizations(6).
  B.  Hell's Kitchen reserves the right to modify the format of creative content(6C) to make it compatible with how Hell's Kitchen functions.
    1.) This applies solely to storage, retrieval, distribution, and archival purposes, including digitization of physical materials where applicable. 
  C. Member Organizations(6) have the right to make minor edits to material received from Hell's Kitchen for spelling and grammar errors. 
  D. When a Member Organization(6) receives correspondence from an outside source that is obviously intended for another Member Organization(6), the correspondence should be relayed immediately to the Susan(3) or to the intended Member Organization(6). If Hell's Kitchen receives messages intended for one of its Member Organizations(6), the Susan(3) will redirect the message in a timely fashion.

Article 14. General Clauses
  A. No Member Organization(6) will knowingly present creative content(7C) without demonstrable or implied permission from the original author.
    1.) Thou shalt not plagiarize!
  B. By submitting creative content(7C) to Hell's Kitchen, Member Organizations(6) imply that, to the best of their knowledge, their creative content(7C) has been duly researched, and represents statements of fact unless a specific piece of the creative content(7C) is an opinion, conjecture, parody or some other protected deviation from fact.
    1.) Thou shalt not libel!

Article 15. Conflicts
  A. In the event of conflicts between Member Organizations(6) that cannot be settled internally, the Member Organizations(6) can appeal to Hell's Kitchen for help. If the Susan(3) is unable to help the parties reach a resolution, the Susan(3) will summon the Carissimus(2) to help arbitrate and arrive at a resolution.

Article 16. Appeals
  A. Any Member Organization(6) can appeal the decision of Hell's Kitchen in any matter excluding financial. The right to appeal these latter matters is reserved solely to VMOs(10). 
  B. In the case of an appeal by a Member Organization(6), the Susan(3) shall convene a meeting of the Carissismus(2) and evidence will be presented. 
  C. Any VMO(10) can appeal the decision of the Susan(3) regarding financial matters. In such a case, the Carissimus(2) will be summoned.
    1.) The Carissimus(2) will organize a meeting to review any and all evidence presented, and decide the most appropriate course of action to preserve the longevity and function of Hell's Kitchen and its members. 
  D. In all appeals cases, decisions of the Carissimus(2) are final.

Term and Termination
Article 17. Term and Termination
  A. Hell's Kitchen may not stop Member Organizations(6) from ending their relationship with Hell's Kitchen, but Member Organizations(6) should provide thirty-days prior written notice to Hell's Kitchen of their intent to withdraw.
  B. Any Member Organization(6) may have its membership in Hell's Kitchen revoked by, though not limited to, the following: 
    1.) Failing to share creative content(6C) with the rest of Hell's Kitchen. 
    2.) Reproducing creative content(6C) with inadequate attribution of its source.
    3.) Substantially changing creative content(6C) from other members organizations(6) without prior permission.
  C. Any member of any Member Organization(6) in Hell's Kitchen may make a report to the Susan(3) on the transgressions outlined in (17B).
  D. When a report is made, or the Susan(3) themself finds evidence of a transgression, the Susan(3) shall convene the Carissimus(2).
    1.) The Carissimus(2) will make the final decision on revoking membership by a majority vote.
  E. All rights and obligations of organizations to Hell's Kitchen and of Hell's Kitchen to organizations will end with the termination of their agreement with the exception of Article 8D.

The Vestigial Clause:
  This clause may have once served a purpose, but nobody knows what it is.

IRS Clause:
The following organizational details are included to comply with rules and regulations set by the Internal Revenue Service of the United States of America:
	1. The name of the organization that uses this Organizing Document is Hell's Kitchen.
	2. Hell's Kitchen is a federation of separate Organizations and is organized exclusively for one or more of the purposes as specified in Section 501 (c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code (IRC) of 1986, and shall not carry on any activities not permitted to be carried on by an organization exempt from Federal income tax under IRC 501(c)(3) or corresponding provisions of any subsequent tax laws. 
	3. No substantial part of the activities of Hell's Kitchen shall be carrying on propaganda, or otherwise attempting to influence legislation (except as otherwise provided by IRC 501(h)) or participating in, or intervening in (including the publication or distribution of statements), any political campaign on behalf of or in opposition to any candidates for public office.
	4. No part of the net earnings of the organization shall inure to the benefit of any individual member, individual trustee, individual director, individual officer of Hell's Kitchen, or any private individual (except that reasonable compensation may be paid for services rendered to or for the organization), and no individual member, individual trustee, individual officer of Hell's Kitchen or any private individual shall be entitled to share in the distribution of any of Hell's Kitchen's assets on dissolution of the organization. 
	5. In any taxable year in which Hell's Kitchen is a private foundation as described in IRC 509(a), Hell's Kitchen shall distribute its income for said period at such time and manner as not to subject it to tax under IRC 4942, and Hell's Kitchen shall not: 
		a. engage in any act of self-dealing as defined in IRC 4941(d) 
		b. retain excess business holdings as defined in IRC 4943 (c) 
		c. make investments in such a manner as to subject Hell's Kitchen to tax under IRC 4944
		d. make any taxable expenditures as defined in IRC 4945(d) or corresponding provisions of any subsequent Federal tax laws. 	
	6. After complete dissolution of the organization of Hell's Kitchen all remaining assets and property of Hell's Kitchen shall, after payment of necessary expenses, be distributed to such Organizations as shall qualify under 501(c)(3) of the IRC of 1986, or corresponding provisions of any subsequent Federal tax laws, or to the federal government of State or local government for a public purpose, subject to the approval of a Court of Competent Jurisdiction.